Got an email from Photobucket today that reminded me I needed to Login after God only knows how many years.

I'd totally forgotten I even had a Photobucket account...so I decided to go and see what I put in it.
I found a lot of old Uni pictures and pictures of happy times which I'd totally forgotten. I guess as we grow older either we learn more about the people around us which hurt us or we learn more about ourselves which are bitter to swallow. Inevitably, we accept the hurt and the reality....and move on.

I should probably be an expert in slamming doors. But recently the doorknobs on doors I'd thought were bricked up and forgotten have begun to rattle and I am unable to ignore their incessant noise. I turn my back but they just keep rattling and the noise echoes in the vaults of my slowly emptying mind.

Maybe it really isn't a good idea to supress memories.

I thought that by putting away what hurt, I would leave it all behind. Besides, its not as though there will be any resolutions or anything that would close my already open eyes. Reality hurts...and it sucks...and quite frankly I don't see any point in facing what is already not relevant.

I'll add an extra layer of brick, mortar and plaster over those doors and ignore the cracks in the walls the violent rattling has created. Perhaps one day, they will stop and fade away.