These days are becoming harder and harder to pass. My thesis is so horribly jammed and it's all my fault...plus I've made a decision I don't know how to tell my parents yet...and I certainly have no idea how it's all gonna work out either!

Been so restless lately that I'm craving human company...in the sense that I wanna be alone...around ppl I don't know (sumthin like going to Tesco alone at 11.30pm on weekends coz they open til 1 am). Before anyone starts whacking me about how dangerous that it, I cannot control it. I know that if I stay at home I'll go whacko. *shrugs*

I need to find a way out before I lose myself again. And, frankly, I don't want to lose myself. I'm talking in circles and more circles and the deeper I go the more complicated it gets. What's going on?

I'm starting to believe that even when I speak....it's not heard. Like I'm a voice that no one hears...a person no one sees. And I have the proof. Either the people around me are deaf...or I'm fading. And suddenly, as much as I fight it...sometimes the option of fading away seems so tempting....if I'm contradicting myself its because my thoughts are so random these days I can barely focus.

Gawd...