I have not been able to blog recently...life's too hard to simply put it into a few pages of words. Days go by....screwed up days, confused days, happy days, angry days, sad days...you get it.

But somehow today was really the worst. Or it was the perfect culmination of a week's worth of crap. And frankly I am so angry I am actually speechless.

The past few days I've rushed asses...lost my participation points cos I spent the whole fucking night fixing the fucking assignment and I was too exhausted to attend the class so everyone in my group got the points while I didn't. And that fucking sucks. It's DAMNED unfair and frankly I'm still steaming.

I got attacked by a cat and a bitch...and my brain's not functioning to its full capacity cos I stay up late fixing fucking asses and reading about a hundred journals in preparation for meeting my thesis advisor which didn't happen.

And did I mention that I'm so exhausted I hear sounds? I hear people calling my name, I hear bells, I hear drums and I even hear the freaking ocean sometimes. No fucking joke.

And oh yes, after weeks of being the glorified taxi driver for practically everyone else I got that hrown back in my face. I should have learnt my lesson from last time but noooo I persist in being the nice person.

I am suddenly OBSSESSED with liposuction, abdominoplasy, nutritionists and even dieticians. I want to step in front of a freaking lorry and end this bloody miserable existence and I did all that for a future I'm not even sure I want anymore.

All I'm asking for is some CLARITY. And yes bitch I know what this fucking word means and I know how to use it. If that means I'm an English-educated show-off then BITE ME.

I want to know what this is all for and if you could just give me ONE GOOD REASON why I'm doing this, please tell me cause I don't have ANY REASONS at all. I have a MILLION REASONS for quitting and frankly they're starting to feel like the only thing I have left.

And yes, I feel lonely I feel used I feel stupid I feel like a bitch and I feel EXHAUSTED. I am entitled to let out my feelings for once and not SMILE like I don't mind you when in fact I think you are nothing more than an apple-polishing boot-liker who can't shut the fuck up!

And no this post does not refer to a specific person but to the sum total of idiots I've had to put up with this whole freaking week.

Fuck this I'm going to sleep. The only thing I look forward to these days is Grey's Anatomy and Sims 2 where I can play God and kill all the fuckers I can't stand. Good night.