I am so physically and mentally exhausted all I want to do is find a hole, bury myself in it and never ever come out again.

The other day, the finalists had a "breakdown". Saw it coming. Didn't expect it to be so soon and frankly, I was very angry at what they were saying but hey...what could I do but pretend to be all sweet and console them? Let em tell you what I really think.

You say you're tired. You say everyday you stay back from morning to night. You say that because you spend all day at Uni you're too tired to rehearse.

Did you know that the committee members who stay back with you EVERY DAY are TWO TIMES more exhausted than you? You come for practice which is a PRIVILEGE and you whine about how tired you are...how late the practices go etc. Did you know that those of us who are there are equally tired? And that after you go home and go to bed we're STILL up doing letters and proposals and worrying about you guys? You forget we are human too.

Then you say you "fish" at classes and you have no time to do your work.

What about us? Did you really think that we have nothing to do? That our lives revolve around you? News flash babies, we're THIRD YEAR which means we have THREE TIMES the work pressure you have.

You say a lot of things but you NEVER EVER think that we there are feeling this more than you. And we don't complain. We don't "breakdown". We don't even let ourselves look tired. Instead we smile at you guys. We encourage you even though we are so exhausted the only thing that's keeping us going is willpower.

On top of that...this is the FIRST TIME I've EVER had so many shitty things happening. This is the first time ushers are DEMANDING special treatment. All they do it stand around, direct people to the toilets and smile. SOooooOOooo hard right? That's why asking them to stay a little later to wash a FEW PIECES OF CUTLERY IS SO FUCKING SUSAH. FOUR Security Helpers decided to pullout at the last min.
My committee cannot come to meetings because :
a) Date with tigeress girlfriend (What the FUCK??)
b) Assignment meeting
c) Need to go out with friends (Go to HELL la)
d) And more stupid reasons

And in the end, I'm the one who gets scolded. In the end, I'm the one who has to smile and pretend everything is alright. The Finalists don't cooperate? Oh, I'M the one who isn't handling them right. No meetings cos the committee members can't make it? I don't know how to set dates for meetings. Last minutes changes? I'M the one who didn't tell them beforehand.

Ok.

If they do not have the self-discipline or the initiative to do their own thing...it's not my fault. No meetings? I AM SO SICK OF DOING THIS SHIT. FIRSTLY, IT'S NOT EVEN MY FUCKING JOB TO SET MEETINGS. IT'S THE DAMNED SECRETARY'S JOB. AND IT'S SO HARD BECAUSE ALL YOU STUPID PEOPLE ALWAYS HAVE SOME SHIT GOING ON. DO I LOOK LIKE GOD? FUCK DAMMIT. YOU THINK I DON'T MAKE SACRIFICES? YOU THINK I DON'T WANT TO STAY HOME AND REST?? I ALSO HAVE A FUCKING THESIS PROPOSAL TO FUCKING DO. I ALSO HAVE THE SAME FUCKING ASSIGNMENTS YOU HAVE. I AM SICK OF TRYING SO HARD AND BEING ONE OF THE FEW WHO IS TRYING SO HARD. IF YOU THINK YOU'VE PUT IN A LOT OF WORK, I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU. YOU HAVE NOT EVEN DONE A FRACTION OF WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING. YOU HAVE NO INITIATIVE AND YOU KEEP EXPECTING ME TO TELL YOU WHAT TO FUCKING DO.

I'm so over this shit.