Magic-In-A-Bottle

2010-04-05T01:21:00.001-07:00

This morning, someone told me that it seemed easy for me to settle into (figuratively speaking) a "comfort zone".... whether or not the environment was pure crap and I was absolutely, totally and completely unhappy.... I'd be able to stomach it and somehow just.... settle.

That sucks.

Got me thinking....because no matter how much my heart screams to leave this godforsaken place, I'm still afraid.

What of, you ask?

Afraid I'd disappoint a manager I really like, whom I've promised to "hold the fort" whilst she was off.

Afraid of what people might think of me. People I don't even like, might I add.

Afraid I might be worse off. Not thinking I could perhaps have better days.

Afraid of being alone in a far off place.

Afraid of being a burden.

Living in a state of perpetual fear is not only draining....it's totally exhausting. Perhaps I don't believe I deserve happiness....even in the smallest measure.

Perhaps the cries of my heart have gotten so buried in the fears that I can't even hear it anymore....there is only that deep empty ache.

A friend of mine recently told me of her increment. I think she absolutely deserved it, knowing her. After I put down the phone I realised.... what has happened to my plans? That sparkling future I once planned down to the last detail?

Sure, things don't always go as planned but by now I should be doing much better than I am. I can do it, I know I can. But for some reason, I'm just not motivated.

So I end up in a rut....in a dead end....in the same position I was in two years ago. It's as though I never stepped out onto that road I'd laid out before me....as though it winks at a distance, always there but always unattainable because I was afraid to take the jump.

I've had time to think, however short or long. And I've decided. Today I will hand my CV over to a place that can offer ME what I deserve. Today I will scour the Internet for other potential MA programmes. I will not be afraid of what they think. Someone out there might like what I do. Today I will leave behind the ghostly whispers of people I don't even like and not give a damn.

No more excuses. I must believe I deserve more....at the very least, to be happy. And who knows....maybe I might be....

2010-02-16T07:48:00.001-08:00

It's 2010.....and it's been another one of those awfully depressing CNYs. Frankly, I don't see what the hype is about. Its all a hypocrite's show anyways.

Moving on.

Work.

What to say about work? It's pretty much a messed up convoluted mess that SHOULDN'T be so!! Frankly what is needed is proper management, some empathy and loads of dedication! Instead, there's a shitload of whining and complaining....there are people who scold and criticise too much and praise too little....there are others who think we're effing robots...there are people who goof off, can't finish their work then wail and whine and throw silent tantrums when they get chastised. But hey~! You keep your head down and soldier on. Isn't that what a good little worker bee is supposed to do? Not question but just DO. Every darned thing that needs doing in the hive.

Some days I really wish I had a good pair of soundproof headphones.

2009-11-19T08:05:00.000-08:00

It's really funny how somethings that haven't crossed your mind for so many years just suddenly pop out of the blue and surprise you.

Random thoughts just pop in and out and you don't really pay attention until one comes up and smacks you on the head with its clarity. And then you realize, at the time, just how important it was that you did SOMETHING.

And you didn't.

Chalk it up to immaturity. Or maybe simple blur-ness. But maybe it was your own insecurities speaking. Either way, you let the chance pass and no matter how you try and lay the blame on others...you'd have to admit you didn't do anything.

Perhaps that is the problem. And has always been.

No sense in pointing fingers. Or even regrets. Simply move on; hold those sighs close to your heart for a moment and let them go.

Carpe diem~!

2009-06-11T09:39:00.000-07:00

I am temporarily experiencing a monumental change in myself.

Ok I am TRYING to change myself.
Constant melancholia does absolutely nothing for a person and frankly, I really do wanna try.

So for a while, I will be blogging at http://www.psychopinkcupcake.blogspot.com which is everything I usually am NOT.

Trying to be happy and upbeat is pretty tiring but hey...I'm hanging in there. ;)

Maybe one day I will be able to do something that really makes ME proud to be me. Till then I'll focus on just being happy.

Moody thoughts will still appear here though...no one can become Pollyanna in just a week!
Wish me luck on trying to change myself for the better~!!

:)

2009-05-12T00:56:00.000-07:00

Ok I'll be the first to admit that I suck at maintaining this blog.

Life has been nothing but endless monotony broken by....hmmm....did I say broken?
I've pretty much nothing to say about my day to day happenings...unless I blog about what I ate for lunch which is probably the only uncertain thing each day!

So....what do I have to ramble about anyways? It gets real depressing when all one sees on this blog is complaints or obscure references to this or that bitch. Kinda like a perpetual dark cloud. I keep waiting for it to rain but so far all I hear is the teeny faraway sound of thunder. Very faint but there.

Oh well...the last few weeks have been really draining....physically and mentally. Some parts of it, I prefer to shut out and pretend it didn't happen. Others, I am really glad they did.

I just wanna say a big "Thank you! I love you!!" to my girls! You both have been the absolute best!! I will miss you and all the kooky shit we do! :) I'm gonna miss the incessant bloop bloop of Skype! ROTFL~!!

Promise we'll stay in touch; go karaoke, bowling, Genting, shopping (ooh doesn't this light your fire Jenneh!), yumcha-ing and all.... *sniffles* Many hugz and kisses.... WE STILL HAVEN'T GONE FOR A PROPER OUTING LERRRRR~! KW WHEN'RE YOU FREE???

2009-04-13T20:05:00.000-07:00

Thank you, Susan Boyle.... everytime I watch this, I will remind myself that even if I am 47 and the world laughs at me, if I believe and if I know I can....I will make it.

All I need to do is believe...and grab the chance.

I can't embed it here so I'll leave the link....please do click it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

2009-04-06T22:58:00.000-07:00

Thank you SG.... :)

2009-04-06T22:03:00.000-07:00

2009-03-19T02:10:00.000-07:00

SUNBURST~!!

FREE TIX BABY~! Did I mention the five free bottles of Tuborg? No?

LOLZ~!!

THANK YOU WQ~!!!

2009-03-16T21:05:00.001-07:00

***********FOOD-OLOGY***************
What is your salad dressing of choice?
Me? Salad-anything? You have GOT to be joking! *makes disgusted face*

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
None in particular at the mo....

What do you like to put on your toast?
Condensed milk or curry chicken

**********TECHNOLOGY***************
How many television sets are in your house?
One that is just collecting dust in my already dusty pigpen

Color of cell phone do you have?
Black....a little gold

***************BIOLOGY******************
Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Oohhh~! Don't I WISH!

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
Groceries I guess....a way overdue grocery shopping trip

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
By others, nope.

************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you gonna die?
Not really.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Of course! If I could I'd change my life too.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
If you added three more zeroes behind, yes!

************DUMBOLOGY******************
How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
Probably five? Six? Erm...

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
Never. I'm too fast.

Last person you talked to?
Wai Quan

Last person you hugged?
Mum....

**************FAVORITOLOGY****************
Season?
Winter!

Holiday?
Christmas I guess...

Day of the week?
At the mo....I'd say Friday.

Month?
December

***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************
Missing Someone?
Yeah...

Mood?
Decidedly melancholy

What are you listening to?
Gotta Be Somebody - Nickelback

Watching?
If you count DeviantWatch...

Worrying about?
Too many things...I'm a chronic worrier

***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************
First place you went this morning?
The office...

What's the last movie you saw?
Slumdog Millionaire

Do you smile often?
Not anymore

QUESTIONS
1)Do you always answer your phone?
If I hear it ring or vibrate, then yes.

2) It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Someone who will be verbally ripped to shreds so fine, dust will be gigantic in comparison!

3) If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Probably blue...a deep dark mysterious blue.

4) Do you own a digital camera?
Oh yes~!

6) Have you ever had a pet fish?
No. If I did it'd die.

7) Favorite Christmas song?
All I Want For Christmas - Olivia Olson

8) What's on your wish list for your birthday?
So many things....but tops on my list is a new life and a new body

9) Can you do push ups?
Hell no! I'm too fat!

10) Can you do a chin up?
*points to Q9*

11) Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Right now? Nervous...worried...sad...

12) Do you have any saved texts?
What kind?

13) Ever been in a car wreck?
Ah. Yeah.

14) Do you have an accent?
I'm told I have an American accent sometimes...and a British accent other times. Sigh.

15) What is the last song to make you cry?
Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

16) Plans tonight?
nothing certain yet

17) Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
I am constantly slamming my head against rock bottom

18) Name 3 things you bought in the last week
Eclipse mints, Japanese chocolates...& a silver ring with a chain

19) Have you ever been given roses?
Graduation. Mutual exchange. sigh...

20) Met someone who changed your life?
Everyday.

21) How did you bring in the New Year!
On the couch with the PotC Trilogy. Thanks HBO~!

22) Name three people who might complete this?
I. Don't. Care.

23) What were you doing at 12 AM last night
Sending my Sim on a Dream Date.

24) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Damn is it 7??!!!

2009-03-15T19:54:00.000-07:00

Standing at the edge of the abyss that sits in the exact centre of me, I sway....shocked as a wave of deep anger and hatred bursts from the depths of that bottomless pit.
I feel it as it consumes me...the bright flames burning as they twine around me like a snake. The light reaches the very edges of my mind, showing me the demons hiding in the shadows as they crawl closer; attracted to the scent of burning flesh.

For an instant, I open my arms, ready to welcome them...ready to embrace the deep pain and cruel revelations they bring. Hoping that for once I would lose myself in the darkness and turn my pain into the wails and cries of others. Yet, before they touch me, a door in that endless corridor flies open, its black depths welcoming...promising a respite.

I take it.

With all the force of my mind, I banish the flames deep into that door. I brick up the door as frantically as I can, even as other bricked up doors begin to rattle. Soon, the air is filled with a teeth-rattling chaos of sounds. Shoving the final brick into place, the sounds begin to subside. Slumping to the floor, I wait as the sounds slowly disappear, muffled once again by the layers of brick and mortar...as the demons crawl back into the shadows; waiting for another chance.

And there is only silence left...silence and an unbearable loneliness.

Sitting there in the dark, I stare once again at the black depths of a hole that seems to have always been there. And I wait...because there is nothing left for me.

2009-02-24T18:00:00.000-08:00

Got an email from Photobucket today that reminded me I needed to Login after God only knows how many years.

I'd totally forgotten I even had a Photobucket account...so I decided to go and see what I put in it.
I found a lot of old Uni pictures and pictures of happy times which I'd totally forgotten. I guess as we grow older either we learn more about the people around us which hurt us or we learn more about ourselves which are bitter to swallow. Inevitably, we accept the hurt and the reality....and move on.

I should probably be an expert in slamming doors. But recently the doorknobs on doors I'd thought were bricked up and forgotten have begun to rattle and I am unable to ignore their incessant noise. I turn my back but they just keep rattling and the noise echoes in the vaults of my slowly emptying mind.

Maybe it really isn't a good idea to supress memories.

I thought that by putting away what hurt, I would leave it all behind. Besides, its not as though there will be any resolutions or anything that would close my already open eyes. Reality hurts...and it sucks...and quite frankly I don't see any point in facing what is already not relevant.

I'll add an extra layer of brick, mortar and plaster over those doors and ignore the cracks in the walls the violent rattling has created. Perhaps one day, they will stop and fade away.

2009-02-23T19:00:00.000-08:00

Credits: http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

2009-02-04T20:07:00.000-08:00

People who have lousy photography skills but think they are extremely good at it should really NEVER be allowed near a camera much less be allowed to own one! It's even more annoying when they wax lyrical about their "styles".
it just really induces a sudden extreme desire to punch said people in the face

2009-01-20T19:18:00.000-08:00

Hmm....

My Life Path No. is 1

The Life Path 1 suggests that you entered this plane with skills allowing you to become a leader type rather easily. Your nature is charged with individualistic desires, a demand for independence, and the need for personal attainment. Many of our military generals, corporate leaders, and political leaders are men and women having the Life Path 1. When you display positive 1 traits your mind is capable of significant creative inspiration, and it possesses the enthusiasm and drive to accomplish a great deal. You are very good at getting the ball rolling; initiating new projects is your forte. You are at your best when confronted with obstacles and challenges, as you combat these with strength and daring. This is both the physical and inner varieties of strength. With this strength comes utter determination and the capability to lead. As a natural leader you have a flair for taking charge of any situation. You have a tendency to do this, even if, at times, it is not appropriate for you to do so.

Highly original, you may have talents as an inventor or innovator of some sort. In any work that you choose, your independent attitude can show through. You have very strong personal needs and desires, and you feel it is always necessary to follow your own convictions. You tire of routine and highly detailed tasks rather quickly.

You are ambitious and assertive in promoting yourself. Although you may hide the fact for social reasons, you can be self-centered and demand to have your way in many circumstances. That said, for the most part, you are considered very good company, friendly, good-natured, and a wonderful conversationalist. People like you and are drawn to you. It is a good thing they are, because you are very sensitive to disapproval and you don't handle it very well.

There are several ways that the negative side of the 1 can show up. The 1 always has the potential for greatness as a leader, but they may fail as a follower. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to follow for a while before you are allowed to lead and this can be a difficult time. When the 1 Life Path person is not fully developed and expressing the negative side of this number, the demeanor may appear very dependent rather than independent, particularly in the early years. If you are expressing this negative trait of the number 1, you are likely to be very dissatisfied with your circumstances, and long for self-sufficiency. This might be defined as the weak or dependent side of the negative 1 Life Path. On the strong side of this negative curve, the 1 energy can become too self-serving, selfish and egotistical. Avoid being too bossy and demanding.

Really? Quite accurate? Or off the mark?

2009-01-18T22:15:00.000-08:00

::Total Eclipse Of The Heart::
Artist: Bonnie Tyler

Turnaround,
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming around
Turnaround,
Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Turnaround,
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
Turnaround,
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart

Turnaround,
Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turnaround,
Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround,
Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry
Turnaround,
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround,
Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always you wanted to be
Turnaround,
Every now and then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
Turnaround,
Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you
Turnaround,
Every now and then I know there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do
Turnaround bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes,
Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

Credits: http://www.romantic-lyrics.com/lt14.shtml

2009-01-18T19:59:00.001-08:00

I probably have always known what a shallow hypocritical person you were but I didn't want to see it.

I'm glad that when I finally did everything became clear.
For a while I beat myself up about being such an idiot...about being so blind...about caring so much when you clearly didn't...

Now I know I was the lucky person.
The better person.

Because even now you still are that same shallow hypocritical person you are.
And I am so much better off without you.
Perhaps one day I'll forgive you...and pass it off as a character flaw and immaturity.
But right now, it's all I can do to be civil in your presence.

I hope one day you'll learn some humility...some gratitude and some brains.
I hope I'll learn forgiveness.

I'm sorry but the more I see of you the more incensed I get.
And bitter...
And sad........

So I shall do my best to avoid you. Until one day when I am big enough to forgive and forget...until I am big enough to let go.

Until I know you have no hold on me and I am a whole person again.

Till then, goodbye.

2009-01-18T19:56:00.000-08:00

Credits: http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com

2009-01-09T00:25:00.000-08:00

All we ever wanted growing up was to live our dreams...
Looking back, the futility of it all makes me want to laugh...
Of course we label the little points of light "Hope"...
No need to tell anyone when they go out, you just pretend they're still there...
Even when the darkness looms and suffocates you, you keep soldering on...

Because that's life.

2009-01-09T00:02:00.000-08:00

Love songs....they are every-freaking-where...
You turn on the radio and chances are nine out of ten times, it's a love song.
Break-up songs...please-love-me songs...I'm-on-top-of-the-world songs....

You go into a supermarket or a mall and the songs they play are love songs.
You go home and some one in your house is playing a love song...

Bloody hell.

I used to not notice the types of songs when I listen to music but now, my mind automatically recoils at any sort of reference to the four-lettered L word. Which sucks because all I can listen to now are dark twisty sort of screamy songs. And these songs play havoc with my already messed up mind.

Shucks.

I hate love songs. And I hate being me.

2009-01-08T18:59:00.000-08:00

Clip is from "Yes Man" starring Jim Carrey...

::Jumper::
Artiste: Third Eye Blind

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies that youve been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand
I would understand

The angry boy a bit too insane
Icing over a secret pain
You know you dont belong
You're the first to fight
Youre way too loud
Youre the flash of light on a burial shroud
I know something's wrong

Well everyone I know has got a reason
To say put the past away

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies that youve been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand
I would understand

Well he's on the table and he's gone to code
And I do not think anyone knows
What they're doing here
And your friends have left you
You've been dismissed
I never thought it would come to this
And I, I want you to know

Everyone's got to face down the demons
Maybe today
You could put the past away

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies that youve been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand
I would understand
I would understand
I would understand
I would understand
I would understand

Understand
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Can you put the past away
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
I would understand
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
I would understand
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
And I would understand

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
I would understand
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
I would understand

Credits: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/t/third+eye+blind/jumper_20136738.html

2009-01-07T01:43:00.000-08:00

2009-01-06T01:29:00.000-08:00

I must be suffering from major hormonal imbalance.....

SHIT!

2009-01-04T23:11:00.000-08:00

I've posted everything I want to say about 2008 and this New Year in another blog...totally password protected because there are things I needed to say that didn't need to be public. *shrugs*

Whatever....

But here's a pic which pretty much says all I want to say.

Taken from: Xutopia on DeviantArt who's a really talented Chinese Vietnamese.

2008-12-23T00:07:00.000-08:00

"Sometimes I feel like there's a hole inside of me, an emptiness that at times seems to burn.

I think if you lifted my heart to your ear, you could probably hear the ocean. The moon tonight, there's a circle around it. Sign of trouble not far behind.

I have this dream of being whole. Of not going to sleep each night, wanting. But still sometimes, when the wind is warm or the crickets sing... I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for.

I just want someone to love me. I want to be seen. I don't know. Maybe I had my happiness. I don't want to believe it but, there is no man, Gilly. Only that moon."
- Sally Owens, Practical Magic (1998)

2008-12-21T19:19:00.000-08:00

"Hell is waking up every god damn morning and not knowing why you're even here. Why you're even breathing." - Marv, Sin City.

2008-12-18T21:25:00.000-08:00

Ok....I liked it so much I pretty much changed it a lil and moved it here...WHEE~!!
*blush*

Oh well, it's almost the new year...time for changes and all that~!
:)

Oh and by the way, Credits are in the Sidebar...there to stay until I get frisky again! Lolz~!
In any case, do click and take a look at their galleries; they all have amazing work!! :)

2008-12-18T00:59:00.000-08:00

I think I'm in love with the blog header I did for my....angsty blog~!
Supplemented by the falling snow extra the very nice blog server added....

CEST MAGNIFIQUE~!!

Lolz~!

2008-12-14T23:34:00.000-08:00

A few days in one post...oh well, its not as though my life is all that interesting!

Caught The Day The Earth Stood Still with LY and her bf...
It wasn't all that bad but seriously, with the slew of movies all containing not-so-obvious (and some VERY obvious) environmental overtones, this one falls a little short of the others.

That's not to say I didn't like it...I did. But the characters seemed woefully underdeveloped and the filmmakers left so many plot holes, it made DBKL look tame!

*SPOILERS AHEAD*
(you can skip this if you haven't watched it)

I seriously felt ultra annoyed by that whiny little brat who seriously should have been a charming wounded child. All I got was brat brat BRAT~!
And how does this brat warm up to the alien?

He was saved from slipping into some storm drain.
Hello? The change in view was way too abrupt!!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Also, it was ridiculously easy for the lady to leave a supposedly well-guarded military compound just because of a disruption! And won't they go looking for her?

Apparently not.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Also, after all that, the alien just suddenly changes his views (again too abruptly and for extremely mundane reasons) and quite easily stops...well...the Earth from being destroyed.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Ah well....it wasn't all bad. The best part of the movie were the trailers at the beginning~!
Lolz~!!

*SPOILERS END*

Yesterday, went on a shopping trip...ok I was the consultant so I didn't buy anything...
But I took Joa out shopping for her prom dress and the lucky b**** had four potentials!! That's more options in dresses that I have for a YEAR...or maybe two.

So anyways, she got herself a gorgeous dress and liquid foundation.
It was done much faster than I thought since she had to rush to feed a very cute puppy~!

Anyways, as we were walking to Sasa for her foundation, the North Court was SNOWING~!! Ookie...tiny little snow(soap?)flakes but the effect was gorgeous~!! People must have thought so too because the whole court was PACKED with eager people it was hard to breathe~!

Left and went home to a lovely Vit Mee-ABC-Fried Jap Eggs dinner by LY. The whole mishmash was amazing babe~! *hugz*

Ok, moving on....(I noticed I'm back to blogging disjointedly...oh well that's the natural progression of my thoughts these days so...I guess that girl was right. I do have a problem articulating my thoughts. Which is lucky for a few people since if I were able to say what I want to say, I'd slash and rip their self-confidence and general annoying attitude to shreds...and then some! But I digress...)

This weekend seems to have flown by...I think I've actually created a deeper attachment to my Sims than I have for humans! Gah~!

Time to come back to the real world...and certain people I'd love to kill but just won't because I can't.

Duncha just looooooooovvveeee reality? Tchah~!

2008-12-14T23:33:00.000-08:00

I guess I must really be more sensitive than I thought...

That being said,"I wish this Christmas that I could spend it in a cold snowy place far away from certain detestable human beings!"

2008-12-01T20:31:00.000-08:00

Vic and her bf finally agreed!!

SO YES~!! I GET TO FINALLY DO A COUPLE SHOOT~!!

It's going to be a massive relief to finally put my ideas on paper...so to speak...and shoot that vision that's been clouding my brain for a while now. Maybe I should work on creating a makeshift studio that I can use anywhere! Hmm....dreamz...dreamz...

For the Dark Circus shoot (thanks LMei for pointing me in the right direction! You've gotta help me ya...) I have two people in mind....wonder how they'd take to each other...hmm...

GAH~!! Hopefully I can wrest the camera back in time for the shoot! Or save up enough to buy my own....even the basic body kit is a KILLER in terms of price. *sigh* Not to mention lenses...a proper tripod...flash etc etc...

Maybe if I wish really hard one might fall out of the sky at my feet!! And maybe hippos with fly!

2008-12-01T17:47:00.000-08:00

It's that wonderful time of year again where we pull out those twinkling lights and wake up every morning hoping against hope it will snow (yeah...with the current environment shifts, who knows?)!!

IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME~!!!!

I'm not sure about everyone but this is my favourite time of year, when all the malls go all out with Christmas deco (sales and sales!), red Santa hats and gifts!! Which brings me to the purpose of this post. LoLz~!

My Women Stuff is having a My Women Stuff Christmas Giveaway!! And she has really REALLY cool stuff too! I think she's one of the beauty bloggers that really gives back though I only read very few so I can't say for sure! All details of the Christmas Giveaway can be found in the link above so Click Click if you're interested! :)

(Hint: She's giving away at least 10 sets!!)

I'm eyeing the Rootote one because (well I've never had a Rootote!) the wallet is screaming to me...and actually everything else too! I think people who know me, know what a makeup freak I am and one of my upcoming New Year's resolutions is to be more spontaneous and to take more chances!! Hence my first time joining an online contest!

Cross my fingers tightly that I'll win something for once! *grinz*

2008-11-30T23:49:00.001-08:00

"If I wasn't meant to fly,
Then why do I have these wings?"
- Wings, Leslie Mills

2008-11-30T19:00:00.000-08:00

"Elinor was to be the comforter of others in her own distresses, no less than in theirs; and all the comfort that could be given by assurances of her own composure of mind, and a very earnest vindication of Edward from every charge but of imprudence, was readily offered." - Sense & Sensibility, Jane Austen

2008-11-30T18:58:00.000-08:00

Credits: http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com

2008-11-19T23:38:00.000-08:00

*hums*

::~::Hot N Cold::~::
Artiste: Katy Perry

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah, you PMS like a bitch
I would know

And you always think
Always speak cryptically
I should know
That you're no good for me

Chorus:
'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

You, you don't really wanna stay, no
You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down

We used to be just like twins, so in sync
The same energy now's a dead battery
Used to laugh 'bout nothing
Now you're plain boring
I should know
That you're not gonna change

Chorus:
'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

You, you don't really wanna stay, no
You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down

Someone call the doctor
Got a case of a love bipolar
Stuck on a rollercoaster
Can't get off this ride

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes

Chorus (x2)

You, you don't really wanna stay, no
You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

Chorus

Credits: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/k/katy_perry/hot_n_cold.html

Bwahahahahaa~!!!

"What goes around, comes around
What goes up must come down" - Alicia Keys

Duncha just LOOOOVVEEE these songs? *shimmy shimmy*

2008-11-18T02:09:00.000-08:00

I have puttered to and fro...
dwelt...
then dwelt upon my problem again and again until it sickened me to even think about it..

Finally,
I have reached a solid conclusion.

For once, I have made my decision and I shall stick to it.
I might regret it...and it's a risk...and I never take risks...

The feeling was like standing at the precipice and looking the abyss in the face...
then taking a giant leap of faith.

And I've never been happier...

2008-11-11T17:11:00.000-08:00

"No one ever speaks about the monsters...

I used to have demons
In my room at night
Desire despair desire
So many monsters..." - Annie Lennox

I still do...

Randomly, I was watching Dracula (1992) and I quite like the story although Winona Ryder annoys me to my back teeth! It gives a more...human side to Dracula and portrays him as Vlad the Impaler instead of the other campy versions of Dracula (I love you Richard Roxburgh but you really DID vamp up Count Dracula a lil too much).

Long story short, Vlad answered the call of God to go fight the Turks (or was it Moors?) at Constantinople and so he did but because he was winning some enemy arse decided to send a note via arrow mail back to his bride Elisabeta (did she even exist?) telling her he was dead. So after his victory, he rides back to find that she has thrown herself off their hilly castle and died. Anyways, he goes crazy with grief and since the really unsympathetic priest tells him she is damned for suicide, he decides to challenge God and well...you know the rest.

Forward to the future, Mina Murray pretty much is Elisabeta reborn and she's bethrothed to Jonathan Harker (Keanu)...so guess what happens? LOLZ~!
Surprising cast though...I mean, Anthony Hopkins as Van Helsing?? Cary Elwes as Arthur Holmwood? LOLZ~!

I don't know about you but every time I think of Anthony Hopkins, I think of Hannibal (Hannibal vs Dracula....hmm....) and everytime I think of Cary Elwes....Robin Hood comes to mind!

Pottering back...anyways, this is the theme song which is really souful.

::~::Love Song For A Vampire::
Artiste: Annie Lennox
OST: Dracula (1992)

Come into these arms again
And lay your body down
Th' rhythm of this trembling heart
Is beating like a drum.

It beats for you, it bleeds for you
It knows not how it sounds.
For it is the drum of drums
It is the song of songs.

Once I had the rarest rose that
Ever deigned to bloom.
Cruel winter chilled the balm,
And stole my flower too soon

O loneliness, O hopelessness
To search the ends of time,
For there is in all the world
No greater love than mine.

Love....Still falls the rain.
Be mine forever...

Let me be the only one
To keep you from the cold.
Now the floor of heav'n is laid,
Its stars of brightest glow.

They shine for you.
They shine for you.
They burn for all to see.

Come into these arms again
And set this spirit free.

Credits: http://www.lyrics007.com/Annie%20Lennox%20Lyrics/Love%20Song%20For%20A%20Vampire%20Lyrics.html

2008-11-09T23:37:00.000-08:00

Just another week...where the weekend felt somewhat empty and unfullfiling...(it's me laaa)

Randomly decided to change my player colour to red instead of the normal blue...maybe because I'm tired of feeling blue and I'm looking to feeling...I dunno...alive I suppose?

Sometimes I feel that if I didn't puff up after drinking, and if I really liked the taste, I might've become an alco...lucky eh? But at least I know FOR SURE I'll NEVER become a smoker. Bloody arseholidic people can just go die!

I mean, if you wanna go smoke yourself to an early grave, then by all means! Please don't smoke around us who would actually like to live long enough to see our grandchildren go to University!! I especially HATE the arses who smoke when people eat. Hello...breathing it isn't enough the blardy smoke actually taints the food as well can?
*screams in frustration*

And Jap classes are postponed...AGAIN....

Why? Missing THREE people to get a class started. SO if next week still don't have the three then how? Post-pone again?

On another random note...I really wanna watch Singin' In The Rain. Dunno what came over me one day and I Youtube-d it and now I really wanna watch. Which means I wanna buy the DvD...which, by extension, means I wanna go home.

I'm rambling. Whatever.

In any case, I stopped following ANTM (C11) for a while because the Youtube channel mysteriously disappeared but a blog I follow pretty much gives ok updates. So, the Asian girl is gone (I liked her! She had sass!) so no first Asian-American ANTM! And that Elina is gone too. No surprise since it's becoming so bloody obvious! The judges are a biased lot and quite frankly, a couple of girls should've gone home so much earlier but are still there. Their photos are lackluster (to say the least!) and really they are ANNOYING! Also, the constant camera-hogger, Tyra, is starting to really grate. This is ANTM...not the Tyra Show! Pffft!!

Oh well...the sum of the week...and the month pretty much...erm...don't know what else to say except trying to go swimming regularly is like trying to pull a really HUGE turnip out of the ground. (I'm sure you've read the story before) Needs a whole blardy entourage and usually that doesn't even happen. Best thing is, it wasn't even my idea in the first place! BAH~!

I feel fatter...which makes me feel even more uncontented...which makes me feel inadequate...which makes me feel like reaching for a bottle...which also makes me feel like puking. So clearly I'm an unhappy person.

Sue me!

I shall now attempt to figure out alternative methods to aiding sleep. I figure I'm cranky because I CANNOT SLEEP and the freakin heat isn't helping!!! *sigh*

Ok, enough rambling and ranting...back to work! *extra long sigh*

2008-11-04T23:17:00.001-08:00

Ok...I really REALLY need a model!!!!

Female - duh!
Preferably with curly hair (long is better so I don't have to digitally add long hair) and is able to jump. You'd be surprised how hard it is! Lolz~!
Ok...if not, someone who can stand on tiptoe for certain periods of time.

Know anyone? :S

By the way, this is all for a personal project ok? So the only thing I can probably offer is maybe teh peng at a mamak? Or dinner (at a stretch)...

Muackz!

2008-11-03T23:55:00.000-08:00

“My problem with Hamlet was how the hell do you do this thing physically, how do you breathe it? Not only is the play very long but you discover that this bastard Shakespeare has put three huge soliloquies one almost directly after another.” - Alan Rickman

LOLZ~!!!!!!

Just needed something to laugh at... :)

2008-11-03T03:01:00.000-08:00

Yes, I've been absolutely GAGA over the High School Musical 3's Soundtrack and yes it's a little childish but so what?

Sometimes I think we just have to step back and allow ourselves to be children for a while...or else we might just break. Or maybe it's just me.

In any case, will be changing my little player at the side soon. LOLZ~!!

"High school musical, who sez we have to let it go?" - Cast, HSM3

:p

2008-11-02T18:25:00.000-08:00

"Be silent!
Keep your foul tongue behind your teeth!
I did not pass through fire and death to bandy words with a witless worm!"
- Gandalf, Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers

My sentiments exactly, Gandalf! *hugz*

2008-10-31T01:14:00.001-07:00

IT'S HALLOWEEN~!!!!

*woot wooooottttttt*

I wanna dress up.....

Pic credits: http://davenit.deviantart.com/art/Halloween-2008-101458892

2008-10-31T01:04:00.001-07:00

::~:: Scream ::~::
Artiste: Zac Efron
OST: High School Musical 3

The day your door is closed
The echoes fill your soul
They won't say which way to go
Just trust your heart
To find what you're here for
Open another door
But I'm not sure anymore
It's just so hard

Voices in my head
Tell me they know best
Got me on the edge
They're pushin', pushin', they're pushin'
I know they've got a plan
But the ball's in my hands
This time is man-to-man
I'm drivin', fightin', inside of

(A world that's upside down)
It's spinning faster
What do I do now
Without you?

I don't know where to go
What's the right team
I want my own thing
So bad I'm gonna scream
I can't chose, so confused
What's it all mean
I want my own dream
So bad I'm gonna scream

I'm kicking down the walls
I gotta make them fall
Just break through them all
I'm punchin', crashin',
I'm gonna
Fight to find myself
Me, and no one else
Which way, I can't tell
I'm searchin', searchin', can't find a

(Way that I should turn)
I should, to right or left, it...
It's like nothing works
Without you

I don't know where to go
What's the right team
I want my own thing
So bad I'm gonna scream
I can't chose, so confused
What's it all mean
I want my own dream
So bad I'm gonna scream

Yeah, the clock's running down,
Hear the crowd getting loud
I'm consumed by the sound
Is it her? Is it love?
Can the music ever be enough?
Gotta work it out!
Gotta work it out!
You can do it!
You can do it!

I don't know where to go
What's the right team
I want my own thing
So bad I'm gonna scream
I can't chose, so confused
What's it all mean
I want my own dream
So bad I'm gonna scream

I don't know where to go
What's the right team
I want my own thing
I want my own thing
I can't chose, so confused
What's it all mean
I want my own dream
So bad I'm gonna scream

Credits: http://www.metrolyrics.com/scream-lyrics-zac-efron.html

2008-10-29T23:30:00.000-07:00

It's getting heavier and heavier...
The days are getting longer...
The darkness comes more often...
The windows darken and shy away from the light...

What light?

Sparkles and curved lips are hard to come by...
And even when one does, it's counterfeit...
It's just rain...and more rain...
In my mind

I really do miss walking in the rain....*sigh*

2008-10-28T03:14:00.000-07:00

A part of me wishes, suddenly, that I took kick-boxing classes...

It's that or Extreme Meditation...

Or maybe a handful of sleeping pills.

2008-10-20T19:59:00.000-07:00

"She suffered much. She loved thee dearly. She had as much unhappiness as thou hast had happiness. That is the way God apportions things." - Jean Valjean, Les Miserables.

Credits: http://www.fullbooks.com/Les-Miserables-by-Victor-Hugo-trans-Isabel-F36.html

A very touching part in Les Miz....when the beloved dead returns, free of their own chains, to relieve the burden of a dying man. (broken into two parts though...)

You can actually watch the whole thing (if you'd like) on Mistyaho's channel! ^^
I think it will help to understand his grief and misgivings.

What I'd give to watch Ruthie Henshall and Lea Salonga LIVE~!! *sigh*

2008-10-20T03:23:00.000-07:00

Am suddenly very preoccupied with the thoughts of mortality...hence the song.

::~::Into The West::~::
Artiste: Annie Lennox
OST: Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King

Lay down,
Your sweet and weary head.
Night is falling.
You have come to journey’s end.

Sleep now, and dream
Of the ones who came before.
They are calling,
From across a distant shore.

Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see.
All of your fears will pass away.
Safe in my arms,
You’re only sleeping.

What can you see,
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea,
A pale moon rises.
The ships have come,
To carry you home.

And all will turn,
To silver glass.
A light on the water.
All souls pass.

Hope fades,
Into the world of night.
Through shadows falling,
Out of memory and time.

Don’t say,
We have come now to the end.
White shores are calling.
You and I will meet again.
And you’ll be here in my arms,
Just sleeping.

What can you see,
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea,
A pale moon rises.
The ships have come,
To carry you home.

And all will turn,
To silver glass.
A light on the water.
Grey ships pass
Into the West.

Credits: http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Into-The-West-lyrics-Annie-Lennox/429DFAB0CA2CFCFB48256E2700178396

If you haven't yet figured out, this song is about Death...but a gentle, kind, beautiful sort of Death.
I shall now go and immerse myself in the world Peter Jackson created from Tolkien's genius!

2008-10-20T03:06:00.000-07:00

MAMMA MIA! THE MUSICAL TIX ALL SOLD OUT~!!!!
*sobz*

"Korek"-ed myself out of bed early just to rush over to One Utama (after a late Lancome event the night before no less!!!) to watch the pre-show and buy the tix....was seriously disappointed when the guy at the Ticket Axccess Counter told me it was totally sold out!!!

*sighz*

Treated myself to a manicure to console myself which actually put me in a fouler mood because the damned store girls (I won't even call them manicurists!) were so RUDE and the girl who did my nails CUT me until I freaking BLED! Then rubbed OIL in it summore.
@^%&$#@@(&!!!!
Sakit sial~!!!! TWO FINGERS kayz!
She just ripped the skin out!!

The end result was seriously pathetic. I could've done a better job by myself at home!! The application was so unsmooth there were bubbles and cracks...how could anyone fuck up OPI nail polish?? So now my nails are painted an uneven, bubbly GOLD though I clearly said BRONZE. If I wanted to change colours I'd have to pay an extra RM15!!! CB sial!!!

So, yeah....all in all it wasn't a very good day. This was Saturday by the way...

*grouse grouse*

It was saved a bit by Sim & Joa cos we went out for dinner, chatted till 12am about the antics of certain people! LoLz~!

Then on Sunday I literally fell out of bed because I was convinced it was Monday! So there goes my chances of a nice leisurely lie in. :(
Lazed around on Sunday with my Sims and drove with LY and CLay to Asia Cafe for dinner. Was supposed to go to some Yoga show with the girls but...aiyah...sien abit for us so we skipped and went for dinner. Decided to go to K3K instead which was really niiiiiccccceeeeee~!!

Yummilicious~! ^^

*update!*
Joa found out they actually blocked some tix so she called and told me~!! Might have a chance of seeing the show after all~!! *nibbles fingertips*

Thanks Joa for the heads up~!!!! Muarkz~!

2008-10-13T20:48:00.000-07:00

OOH~!! This looks GOOD~!!! Can't wait till it comes out!!

THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES

I've never read the book but I probably won't until after I've watched the movie. Reading the book beforehand always ruins a movie...with the exception of the LOTR trilogy. :P

2008-10-13T04:21:00.000-07:00

"If you're over me,
I'm already over you,
If it's all been done, what is left to do
How can you hang up if the line is dead
If you wanna walk, I'm a step ahead
If you're moving on, I'm already gone
If the light is off then it isn't on" - So Yesterday, Hillary Duff

I lied...

2008-10-13T04:16:00.000-07:00

After Jenn mentioned this song, it's been stuck in my head...

::~::Come Clean::~::
Artiste: Hillary Duff

Let's go back
Back to the beginning
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned

'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect
Trying to fit a square into a circle
Was no life
I defy

[Chorus:]
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean

I'm shedding
Shedding every color
Trying to find a pigment of truth
Beneath my skin

'Cause different
Doesn't feel so different
And going out is better
Then always staying in
Feel the wind

[Chorus]

I'm coming clean
Let the rain fall
Let the rain fall
I'm coming...

[Chorus x2]

Let's go back
Back to the beginning...

Credits: http://www.lyrics007.com/Hilary%20Duff%20Lyrics/Come%20Clean%20Lyrics.html

I used to walk in the rain when I was upset. The rain falling on my face allowed me to cry without anyone seeing and I miss it so much. It was a kind of freedom.
Not anymore I guess...

2008-10-09T01:15:00.000-07:00

TAGGGGGEEDDDD
This time by Jenn

Supposed to write 10 Facts about myself....and then tag 10 ppl. TEN PEOPLE?? Hello! Chee sin ke?

Anyways, here goes...

10) I have the horrid habit of sounding condescending and being condescending sometimes. I'm always sorry after and it's something I have to work on.

9) Somedays I'm a realist...but deep down I'm a romantic.

8) I worry alot more than I should about things I cannot control.

7) I ALWAYS regret my outbursts, what I eat and what I say!

6) I will never be skinny because I love love LOVE food too much!

5) I used to play the piano and sing till Grade 6...then I quit. Now I can do neither. LOLZ~!

4) I would love to be on Broadway...or West End! And not to watch either! ;)

3) I am a total slob when it comes to my room but ridiculously anal about bathroom cleanliness! And I'm a Virgoan!

2) I am not as confident as a lot of people think I am.

1) I am a walking contradiction.

OK~!! Now for the ten people..... (don't curse me!!)
1) BC? - only cos he's done it! LoLz~!
2) Joa
3) Hunny
4) Chiewy - I know you won't do it but, hey! No harm trying! ;)
5) TAK TAHU LAAAAA
6) Anyone else that has nothing to do!!

2008-10-08T03:13:00.000-07:00

FINALLY~!!

Posted some raw shots from the Oct 1st shoot on my DeviantArt Account~!!

Please please PLEASE check them out and tell me what you think....

(If this link doesn't work, I linked my acc on the sidebar!)

2008-10-07T21:25:00.000-07:00

Stumbled across this today....

Amazing choreography, hey? Love the message too! *winkz*

2008-10-06T03:55:00.000-07:00

TAGGED - by WQ

Start time: 7.02pm, 6 Oct 2008

Name: If you don't know it why are you here?
Sisters: None though I'd love one! Would've spoilt her rotten! ;)
Brothers: 1
Shoe size: 4 sometimes 3 1/2 or 4 1/2 depending on the shoe
Height: short short short
Where do you live: Where there are cows and stupid high school kids playing near a big monsoon drain!
Favourite drinks: iced tea...iced black coffee...iced chocolate...erm...I can't really decide!
Favourite breakfast: grilled mushrooms!!! and pancakes! and scones! and fried eggs! (clearly I'm a big eater hey?)

Have you ever
Been on a plane? Yep!
Swam in the ocean: I lived on an island, of course I have!!
Fallen asleep at school: Who hasn't? ;)
Fell off your chair: Sadly and humiliatingly, yes
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Nope
Saved emails? Of course, do it all the time! ^^

What is your room like: Current room looks like, and I quote, "a warehouse...a BIG messy warehouse" *shrugs*
What’s right beside you: stacks and stacks of letters waiting to be sealed and sent
What is the last thing you ate: Mee hoon in super sweet seafood soup...YUM!!!!

Ever had
Chicken pox: Yep! Wasn't fun I can tell you!
Sore throat: Yeah *grouses*
Stitches: Thank god NO!
Broken nose: Nope!

Do you
Believe in love at first sight: I'd like to....but the more I see the more cynical I get
Like picnics: I like the idea of a picnic...never been on an actual one tho...

Who was, were
The last person you danced with: define "dance"
Last person who made you smile: Mum ^^
You last yelled at: Ironically, my parents

Today did you:
Talk to someone you like: Nope
Kissed anyone: Nope (never been kissed!)
Get sick: Nope
Miss someone: I'd like to say no but I think deep down I do...
Eat: LoLz~! Yep~!

Best feeling in the world: snuggling under my blankets and pillows on a rainy day (preferably with a nice warm huggable someone with me)
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: Yep~! Smooch Baby my dog! ^^
What’s under your bed: Err...I sleep on a mattress on the floor....
Who do you really hate: I don't hate people...I just get annoyed with them

Time is it now?: 7.12pm

Random:
Is there a person who is on your mind now: Yeah....
Do you have any siblings: Erm...wasn't this asked before? Yes!
Do you want children: Of course! Practically bursting with all the motherly instincts inside! ^^
Do you smile often: I try...but it's getting rather forced these last few years
Do you like your hand-writing: Sometimes

Are your toe nails painted: Not today
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: My own bed back home...or mum's...it's uber comfy!!
What color shirt are you wearing now: Easy one...I'm ALWAYS in black.
What were you doing at 7:00 p.m. yesterday: Sitting at my comp trying to get a plant to eat an unsuspecting Sim whilst devouring a book.
When did you cry last: LoLz~! This weekend!

Are you a friendly person: Honestly, I hope I am...but I've had some conflicting answers to this one so we'll just let it pass hey?
Do you have any pets: Had a rabbit...loved it to bits...then it was taken away...*sigh*
Where is the person you have feelings for right now? I don't know...
Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you now: My parents laaaa
Do you sleep with the TV on?: It's not even plugged in~! LoLz~!
Have you ever crawled through a window?: Loads! Though only ground floor ones!
Can you handle the truth?: I'd prefer the truth anyday. It hurts but finding out later hurts even more.
Are you too forgiving?: I think I am *winces*

Are you closer to your mother or father?: I don't honestly know...closer to my mum in some ways but closer to my dad in others...
Who was the last person you cried in front of?: I was crying tears of frustration at my parents...plus a lot of whispered yelling. LOLz~!!
How many people can you say you’ve really loved?: I have a heart too big to be kept on my own...so in answer to the question, more than deserve it.
Do you eat healthy?: I try....I'll bet a lot of ppl who know me would laugh themselves silly at the answer!
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?: Not really an "ex" but yeah...
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?: Never, I just stuffed them into some dark place and forgot bout them.

If you’re having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?: Erm....myself?
Are you loud or quiet most of the time?: I'm quiet mostly...
Are you confident?: Whaddaya think?

3 things I was doing 10 years ago: study, study, study (unwillingly as I recall)
snacks I enjoy: freeze-dried nangka and mushrooms~!!
3 of my bad habits: being condescending, having superiority issues, being a workaholic (this was stolen from WQ!)
3 places I have lived in: Penang, Australia, KL

4 people I tag: Jenna Babe, Chiewy, Joa, Hunny (just so you'll update that dusty blog of yours~! Lolz!)

2008-09-29T04:24:00.000-07:00

Ok, first I shall start this off by a warning...

THIS IS A RANT GODDAMN IT~!!!!

I decided not to post this in my Wordpress Blog because I am totally irritated and sien by this particular term and the idiots who use it the way they think is right. Of course it has to be totally wrong.

I AM GOING TO BE JUDGEMENTAL AND BIASED since it's MY PEROGATIVE and this is MY BLOG~!

So call me bitch or whatever, but I will say hurtful stuff!

Ok, let me just start of by saying I get VERY irritated when I hear stupid little Cina-fied girls talking about their 'lovers'.

Ok, let me clue you in you clueless bimbo, a 'lover' is a sexual partner! Nope, not really the right term for bf is it? Unless you really are the little slut and have had many 'lovers' as you claim to do! Then again most of these cina-fied girls are really little sluts so I guess it's justified gushing about how 'sweet' your 'lover' is and how in love you are!

Two 'lovers' later and they are still nauseatingly, disgustingly gushy about whichever ugly bugger that's screwing them! GEEZ~!

And oh, did I mention how sickening it is to hear those cina-muis gush about their hubbies/lou kongs? So desperate for marriage izzit? Then later when you break up it's no longer forever and ever and ever?

*vomits*

Another thing I totally cannot stand is how they talk about how many 'lovers' they've had...like talking about collecting dolls or something! So totally horny izzit? Cannot rein in the libido ke? Have some self respect la! Or maybe it's the raging maternal instincts? I didn't know maternal instincts manifested in girls as young as 14! My, how the human race has developed!

All I can say to you is;
1) Guys totally go for your uber annoying, brainless, bimbotic, breathless, I-cannot-take-care-oh-myself, squeaky voice. Well kudos for you! It's ok since most of the time your IQ is around the below 100 range. I wonder how he'll be able to stand that voice when you're 30!
2) No, leggings that stop mid-thigh and a skirt do NOT go. Unless you're a super cool Goth chic and you match well. Too bad that can't be said for you! If being colour blind and fashion missing were a crime, you'd be thrown into jail faster than you can say, "Harajuku?" in that annoying little-girl voice!
3) I really hope you know about birth control and STD prevention since counting by the amount of 'lovers' you've had you a probably a walking festering pit of STDs!
4) If you're so desperate to marry and be a mother, I hope when your child's IQ exceeds yours and he/she/it gets old enough to realize that normal moms don't talk like retarded children, he/she/it is totally understanding and throw you into a theraphy clinic which you totally need!

*deep breath and exhale*

I dunno what brought this on but SERIOUSLY! Stop MANGLING the English language~!

"Look at her, a prisoner of the gutters, condemned by every syllable she utters! By right she should be taken out and hung, for the cold-blooded murder of the English tongue!" - P. Henry Higgins, My Fair Lady.

I shall now go and stew in my own juices whilst smiling at cina-fied bimbos with no fashion sense who can't stop chattering loud enough for the whole freaking mall to hear and dreaming of strangling them as I go.

2008-09-29T04:06:00.000-07:00

Actually...I know it's my real dream. And I'm not pursuing it because I don't have your support and without it, I am too scared to try~!
But I still love you and I know why you can't understand my dream.

2008-09-17T20:04:00.001-07:00

Suddenly feel like posting random pics here... (ok I just cleared my cam hp! Lolz~!)

One of those rare days when I leave the office before the sun sets!

Gorgeous random trees!

Stekker sweetie~!!

Ms Ang's super cute baby!!!!

And one of those rare pics of me that I put on my blog! >.<
(Totally horror movie feel according to Ian!!)

2008-09-17T04:15:00.000-07:00

For some reason this quote has been floating about in my head the whole day...:S

"Is there some reason my coffee isn't here yet? Has she died or something?" - Miranda Priestly.

2008-09-16T19:05:00.000-07:00

Okay...back to the birthday.

*Note: This was the post bloody Blogger deleted so it's a pretty late one. Oh well I get to add stuff to it then!!*

It was supposed to be a farewell for the interns...so even though we were exhausted (ok, Leo wasn't exhausted he was practically HOPPING with excitement! >.<) and it was raining pretty heavily, we all piled in Leo's car to drive to Neway Puchong.

(Playing with Leo's Alvin on the way)

(Rainy dismal way to Puchong...ok I lied. I love rainy days!)

Yep, karaoke.

Lemme just say that this would be my third time only in a karaoke joint and I totally wasn't looking forward to it since the last two times...were...pretty dismal actually! The first was an absolute disaster (won't get into why...) and the second time was only so-so...

When we got there, my first thought was, "God this place is freaking COLD!!" And coming from me, it must mean it was REALLY cold since everyone else was shivering. Totally raided the buffet section with the interns and Leo since we all assumed we were taking food for the whole office. WQ being off that day was only joining later so we took for Irene, Ms Ang, Leo, the two interns and me.

When we had food enough for an army, we started...well....attacking it. Rainy days and cold places are totally conducive to eating I can tell you! Started singing all sorts of songs which was really FUN since everyone was into it!! And OMG....Irene can totally SING!!!! She does Whitney effortlessly!! Though not as powerful but every bit as melodious!

WQ pops in after TWO hours of us doing nonsense...and stuff I totally cannot erase from my head (thanks Leo! >.<) and the interns really letting loose all over the room! Anyways, all through this, some guy from Neway keeps popping in, asking "Is there a birthday here?". Being totally doink I thought he was some confused soul or that someone else was having a bday there! (In my defense it was one week early ya!)

It only hit me when they brought in the Durian Durian cake from SR! Irene remembered I like the cake so that's what she got! So touched I almost cried. That night we yowled and danced and went crazy (part of the birthday surprise included beer...and no I only sipped a little!) until two am!

I paid for it the next day with a full blown flu (memang wasn't feeling well) and a totally hoarse voice.

My first surprise bday by my colleagues!! LOVE YOU ALL SO SO MUCHIEZ~!!!

*additional info*

The surprise by LY, Jenn, VY and CL (plus Simon) was slightly less subtle since it was kinda obvious! Went to the Dessert Bar where I had my FIRST EVER chocolate fondue!! It was really really REALLY fun too since it was the first time I ever played Uno Stacko!!! Poor Simon was seriously bullied by us! ^^

Anyways, thanks Jenn for the Hazel contacts and the cute cute bear! *hugz muackiezzz*

Thanks LY for the hand-sewn pillow! (tho I maintain it looks like '11nd' instead of '22nd'! *ducks*)

And thank you everyone for the Facebook and Friendster messages. I'm sorry I haven't been sending you bday wishes too. Work is no excuse, I admit I'm totally lousy at friend follow-ups! Thank you for forgiving me and giving me wishes anyways! I LOVE YOU ALLL~!!!!

To all of you whose birthday I missed or forgot...

HAPPY (EXTREMELY) BELATED BIRTHDAY~!!!!

2008-09-16T18:25:00.000-07:00

I know the blog is starting to resemble a lyric blog again...but I'm so totally stuck on this song!!! Am not really a fan of the singer per se but she does have a very good voice (she's no Whitney but she might be a British Mariah voice-wise!) and the song is just stuck in my head! GAH~!

*If I'm right, this was stuck in my head once before when dear ol Shannel told me I'd like Leona's cd...lolz~!!

::~::Better In Time::~::
Artiste: Leona Lewis

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we have been through

Going, coming
Thought I heard a knock
Who's there? No one
Thinking that I deserved it
Now I realize that I really didn't know
You didn't notice, you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning, to love again
All I know is, I'mma be okay

Chorus:
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too (oh yeah)
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to (ooh ooh)
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
It wasn't all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming
Don't wanna laugh, hurt my feelings
But that's the path I believe in
And I know that, time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning, to love again
All I know is, I'm gon' be okay

Chorus:
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too (oh yeah)
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to (ooh ooh)
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me (no more you and me)
It's time I let you go so I can be free
And live my life how it should be (and I know and I know)
No matter how hard it is, I'll be fine without you
Yes, I will

Chorus:
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too (oh oh oh)
It'll all get better in time (oh oh ooh)
Even though I really love you (you)
I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to (yes I do)
It'll all get better in time (oh oh yeah)

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too (yeah yeah yeah)
It'll all get better in time (ooh ooh oh)
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to (ooh ooh, yes)
It'll all get better in time

Reference: http://www.metrolyrics.com/better-in-time-lyrics-leona-lewis.html

*click*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrNoDUblAtE*click*

2008-09-15T22:40:00.001-07:00

I've always thought that out of all my friends I was the "ugly" one. In high school, it was our "Gila" gang.

I've never said it but I've always wondered why I seem to end up with groups where the girls are so pretty and I always end up feeling small and insignificant somehow. In KTAR (and/or UTAR) it was Jenn, LY, VY and Su Hui....all the girls who got all the attention. I've always wondered why they were friends with me...in fact if it weren't for Jenna Babe and LY...I guess we'd all be doing different things!

LY, for all my complaints about you, you were the reason the group actually came about. If not for your....er...persistence...we'd all never get as close as we are now.

But anyways, back to the point....I remember once saying our group were like pearls...I even had different pearls to describe each girl (except me). In any case, I saw this postcard today.

I think I posted this because of the answer someone gave.

-----Email Message-----
Sent: Sunday, September 14, 2008 1:13 PM

I studied this secret for quite a while, I'm still not sure which one the ugly one was supposed to be. They are both beautiful.

Credits: http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Thank you whoever you are...and thank you to my friends...for letting me be a part of your group. It means alot to me...more than you'd ever know. :)

::~::Breathe Me::~::
Artiste: Sia

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Credits: http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Breathe-me-lyrics-Sia/5BAF785A295A848248256F2B00129392

Ps: This is song No.3 on my playlist in you wanna hear it. :)

2008-09-10T20:07:00.000-07:00

It's not that I don't wanna update...bloody Blogger keeps eating up my posts!

So after you've spent ages thinking of how to write a post and finally doing it...when it disappears into thin air, somehow you're just not motivated to try again.

Gah! *grouse grouse*

2008-08-28T06:41:00.000-07:00

FINALLY finished and gave the presents~!!

To (in order of prezzie appearance) VY, Jenn and LY....big hugz and kisses~! I'm glad we've stayed best friends for five years~! May we have many more fantastic years to come~! Btw, next destination *crosses fingers* BANGKOK~!!

To my quietly cool VY....

Thank you for being my wackily witty friend and for making me laugh!

To my strong and beautiful Jenn....

Thank you for being my rock...my "twin" and my shoulder when I needed it!

To my cute little LY....

Thank you for always being there and for bearing with my idiosyncratically eratic nature~!

I LOVE YOU ALL TO BITS~!! *muax*

Btw, all prezzies came from the superbly talented DaintyDreams~!! Customized and all~! PLUS IT'S MALAYSIAN~! Whoopeeee~!! ^^

2008-08-26T19:14:00.001-07:00

The winner of the kennysia Mr Potato Bangkok challenge looks damned familiar la...

Ian....your friend ah? Lolz!!

http://www.kennysia.com/archives/2008/08/mister_potato_w.php#comments

2008-08-22T00:28:00.000-07:00

Thanks Joa for this link....

Please read this : The Girl In The Window

::~::Concrete Angel::~::
Artiste : Martina McBride

She walks to school with the lunch that she packed
Nobody knows what she's holdin' back
Wearin' the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with the linen and lace oh

The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born

[chorus]
Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear, but they turn out the lights
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it'll be too late

[Repeat Chorus]

A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot

[Repeat Chorus]

Credits: http://www.elyrics.net/read/m/martina-mcBride-lyrics/concrete-angel-lyrics.html

Let's not feign ignorance when what is blatantly before our face cries for help!

2008-08-20T00:42:00.000-07:00

*EDIT*

NOW it's back on.... MAKE UP YOUR MINDS LA SCREWBALLS~!!! Btw...Roxie, can have free tix ar? LOLZ~!!!!

Aihz...got tix also kenot go...got work~! GAH~!!!

Off all the funny funny things to happen....LOLZ!! I DID SAY SO~!!!

Malaysia cancels 'too sexy' Avril Lavigne concert

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5iHEwkv0TqtCh5_clKFvCZjP5Ik_wD92LB8O00

Here are a few choice excerpts:

"Malaysia on Tuesday canceled a concert by Canadian rock singer Avril Lavigne, saying it may taint the Muslim-majority country's independence day celebrations after the Islamic opposition slammed her show as being "too sexy.""

Too sexy?? AVRIL??

"It is not timely. It's not in the good spirit of our National Day. If we go ahead with the concert, it is contrary to what we are preparing for," said Shukran Ibrahim, a senior official from the culture ministry's department that vets all foreign artists.

Ahhhh....so the point is that it's not in the "Merdeka" spirit laaa....

Kamarulzaman Mohamed, a party youth official, told The Associated Press on Monday that Lavigne's show was "considered too sexy for us" and would promote the wrong values just before independence day.

Wrong values? What does a concert with Avril have anything to do with UNITY? Doesn't it PROMOTE it since MUSIC can be enjoyed by ALL regardless of age and race??

"We don't want our people, our teenagers, influenced by their performance. We want clean artists, artists that are good role models," he said.

Good role models....what influence??? It's AVRIL!! She's so clean it's ridiculous!! No scandals (at least none I know off) and she is totally off the drugs and alco radar! Tsk!

And the funniest part....

Malaysia requires all performers to wear clothes without obscene or drug-related images and be covered from the chest to the knees. They must also refrain from jumping, shouting, hugging and kissing on stage.

Hahahaha!!! Biggest JOKE!! How la to have a concert with no JUMPING!!!! Would anyone associate Avril with "sexy clothes"??? Stoopid la our country.

*shakes head*

No wonder Beyonce went to Indonesia and Christina went to Singapore~!!!

2008-08-19T19:29:00.000-07:00

Credits:

http://www.youtube.com/user/everlastingchill

http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com

2008-08-17T21:38:00.000-07:00

Having a very bad hair day...

Very tired both physically and mentally...

*sigh*

At least the flower pens do make me a teensy weensy bit happier.

GAH~!

Happiness is an elusive bit of candy...melts in your mouth with a bittersweet aftertaste and leaves you longing for more...

2008-08-12T03:39:00.002-07:00

I have a vision in my head...

Now all I need is a model, some film, a white long stemmed rose, black gloves, a beret and black lace.
Oh and black/dark purple lipstick...

Help anyone?

2008-08-12T03:39:00.001-07:00

All going according to plan...

Let's hope it stays that way~!!! ^^

2008-08-11T01:15:00.001-07:00

It not EASY planning for VY~!!!!

Last year LY was pretty easy to surprise though she did guess what was happening (or rather where we were kidnapping her to!). And right she would be since she's been harping the WHOLE YEAR about that place. Gah...maybe we were being too obvious.

This time VY is even WORSE~!

Its practically IMPOSSIBLE to surprise her since she's waaaayyy too clever. Anything we plan no matter how secret she'll guess...

DAMN~!

But this year, she'll possibly guess the destination but not the activity~!! Tra~la~la~!!!
We'll see.

So far the planning seems cursed. Everything seems to be falling apart~! Sudden changes of date...sudden lack of transportation....GAH~!

Also suddenly the prezzies might not be done on time~! *nibbles fingers*

Oh well....it'll work out~! And we'll have a blast! All I need to do now is figure out where I can buy some medication which'll knock her out for a short while!! ^^

Ps: My DeviantArt site is picking up a little...need to start working on my portfolio seriously adi~!! Goldsmiths...here I come~!!!! ^^

2008-08-07T20:10:00.001-07:00

I haven't been posting much about my doings but oh well, here goes...

Was asked to take the day off to "recuperate" after a long long weekend travelling North for J&J. Of course this means I'll have to have another long long weekend travelling SOUTH for J&J~!!

Gah~!

So with this Thursday I learnt one thing....I can't BEAR being stuck alone in an empty apartment with nothing to do~!!!!!

Woke up early cos I was used to and rolled around in bed until late.

Got up and played "The Sims 2" for a while but couldn't STAND the silence.

Broke with what I usually do and went to Cineleisure for a manicure.

Promptly lost my mind and paid double for Nail Art (which I sorely regretted the moment it was done~!!!!). I'm NOT a white-ish girl~!! I like BLACK~!!

Went walking around alone and Border-ing until Jenna Babe came to RESCUE ME.

Popped over for dinner at Sakae Sushi (we had cravings~!!) and all pics were taken by her so I'll link it when she posts it~! ;)

Walked around, stopped to browse, walked around some more and finally bought an RM5.40 lip gloss (originally RM18) so I'd have change for parking. GAH~!

All in all...I've decided that I prefer working. Having the day off pretty much sucks cos everyone is busy doing their thing and I'm pathetically alone.

(I say this now but later I'll be moaning the lack of holidays)

Ps: I WANT A HOLIDAY LAAAA~!!! But no I'm not really looking forward to going to Genting this Merdeka.... SYC~! EC~!! HUI MIN~!! CL~!!!! Let's meet up there and get stone cold drunk~!! *giggles*

2008-07-30T22:37:00.000-07:00

My stomach has gone absolutely haywire on me...GAH~!

Diahorhea...cramps....being a girl really sucks at some points~! Since I can't leave the comfort of the cold cold bathroom, I figure going online helps take the edge of the pain much better than meds do~! (And after taking too many meds you become immune to them so...*shrugs*) You just gotta love the person who invented the lappie and Maxis mobile! Lolz~!

In any case, been doing some research and if mum has her way I'll be in London by Feb next year.

Excited?
Hell yeah~!

Apprehensive?
Well... du-oh~!

Truth is, I really want to go so badly. Missing CNY is no biggie since I've always pretty much hated CNY~!! I'd be sad I was missing the annual reunion thingy with my highschool friends but I guess that's what the Internet is for eh?

People always say stuff like its a great new adventure and all that...and they remind me that I've been overseas before. But it was different because I had Chiewy there (love ya, miss ya,can't wait till you're back babez!!!) and that made it not so scary for me. London....I'll be all alone unless I decide to go to Manchester instead...or South Hampton. ^^

I will definitely find a way to do what I want to do. This is the first step and it's a pretty big baby step but I'll take what I can get~! And maybe in between studying I'll work and set aside enough to go around Europe~! Or see all the fantastic West End shows I've always dreamed of watching live~! Or just finally being able to enjoy Christmas in London~!!!! Okay I did that before last time and it ROCKED~!

I guess having dreams finally within my reach really does cause one to become euphoric. Going overseas will really be a mark of change in my life. Another good thing is in the UK, the price of a flight to the USA won't be so ruinously expensive so maybe next year I'd get to go to LA for the "Hotties" reunion~! Lolz~!
Maybe then I'd find it in me to let myself go and be a kid with the gorgeous Aussie "Sweeties", Sean and Kim Eirik (is that how you spell it? Bah! Kimber works better! ^^) and even go to Disneyland~!!!

Ok...I have to stop dreaming and come back to my cold cold bathroom. Gah. Maybe by this time next year, I'll be in a colder bathroom rushing for my photography finals! A girl can dream eh?

Off the mark, I'm glad I finally got concrete proof and it makes me so happy because finally I can truly let go~! Tra la la la ~! Of course this just tells me a little more about myself.

Ooh and another thing~! I'm glad you're coming back Chiewy. I've really missed you~! ^^

2008-07-24T22:49:00.000-07:00

Of all the weird things a parent can do to a child!!!

http://www.abcnews.go.com/WaterCooler/wireStory?id=5439648

How the HECK would you feel if you were named 'Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii'??
Or 'Sex Fruit' for that matter???

Some people are just insane... *shakes head*

2008-07-23T03:53:00.001-07:00

Trying to find happiness...

Just another day....

Turned a little better....

Credits:
WQ's Hippo
J&J's Balloons

2008-07-21T02:40:00.000-07:00

THEY'RE IN TALKS TO MAKE WICKED A MOVIE AS OF 15 JULY 2008~!!!!

Thank GOODNESS~!!!!!

http://www.variety.com/VR1117988927.html

I had no idea one of the producers of Wicked also produced Wanted (and is probably gonna do Wanted 2!) and also a remake of Jesus Christ Superstar!!!!

My day just got a little bit better! :)

2008-07-20T21:37:00.000-07:00

::~::Always Look On the Bright Side Of Life::~::
Artiste(s): Whichever Broadway Cast is performing!
OST: Monty Python: Spamalot

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...

Credits: http://www.thebards.net/music/lyrics/Always_Look_Bright_Side_Life.shtml

*There are some funny bits of dialogue I omitted cos it only makes sense if you know what Spamalot is about! But this is my "happy" song for now.

2008-07-20T21:34:00.000-07:00

I don't know if she asked or you did...

But it's deja vu because I asked you that question so long ago.

You didn't have an answer then. Do you now?

2008-07-20T19:50:00.000-07:00

PostSecret Rocks this week... :)

And every other week... :)

Credits: www.postsecret.blogspot.com du-oh~!

2008-07-08T21:37:00.000-07:00

I finally found time over the weekend to watch "Atonement".

Frankly, I've been putting it off because I refused to watch it in the cinema (knowing bloody Msian cinema types they'll have censored half the film!) and I wasn't in the modd to watch it even after I bought the DvD.

But then, somehow this weekend felt right somehow and I watched it.

Quite frankly I like the movie alot. I read the book and it really was in a style that Briony probably would have written it in...long-winded and overly-descriptive yet without substance. It pretty much felt like I was reading modern Tolkien!

But the movie producers did a good job extracting the basic plotline and the twists and turning it into a movie. Somehow I felt the only thing lacking was a good soundtrack. Which was a waste seeing as the music didn't supplement the scenes well enough for there to be an impact especially during strong tear-inducing scenes.

I liked the themes of the movie though...how one simple stupid act could cause such ripples through so many people's lives...how what we see might not truly translate into reality and misperceptions can cause us to invent ideals that suit us at the moment. It's strange really and it makes you think.

Perhaps a single word said at an opportune moment could cause someone's morale to rise...to fall. Seemingly innocent statements if made at the wrong time could cause the meaning to be distorted and cause harm to the person the statement was directed to.
An example...on normal days the word "chubby" might not mean much and could be meant as a form of endearment. But the word was used to describe a person who didn't take it too well and Karen Carpenter then died of anorexia.

I guess it makes one more aware of what we say or do in life. Maybe to be a little less thoughtless and a little more aware of how others think and feel might help. And maybe to be a little less judgemental and not be prejudiced against some. Perhaps all that's needed is a little self-reflection from time to time....to look back and see if what we did was right or wrong. And if it was, to set it right or to at least admit the mistake would be enough.

I'm rambling....oh well...it's Tuesday but the blues are still as strong as ever...fucking hormones~!

Picture Credits:
http://electricityandlust.wordpress.com/2008/02/04/review-atonement/
http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/film/2007/09/you_review_atonement.html
http://www.stokesaycourt.com/atonement.asp

2008-06-30T21:04:00.000-07:00

::~:: A Little Pain ::~::
Artiste: Olivia Lufkin insp' Reira
OST: NANA

Romaji:
Travel to the moon
Kimi wa nemuri, yume wo toku
Dare mo inai, hoshi no hikari
Ayatsuri nagara

Tsuyoku naru tame,
Wasureta egao
Kitto futari nara, torimodosu

Kidzuite
I'm here waiting for you
Ima to wa chigau mirai ga atte mo
I'm here waiting for you
Sakebi tsudzukete

Kitto kokoro wa,
Tsunagu ito wo tagutteru
Ano koro no watashi,
Me wo samasu you ni
No need to cry

Travel in silence,
Te wo nobaseba, fureru no ni
Kimi wa tooi, sore wa,
Omoide no naka no koto

Koe ga kikoeru,
Me wo tojireba
Chiisa na itami sae,
Itoshikute

Mitsumete
I'm here waiting for you
Kaze ni fukare,
Hitori mayotte mo
I'm here waiting for you
Sora wo miagete

Zutto kokoro wa,
Te wo hirogete mamotteru
Ano koro no kimi ga,
Furikaeru made
No need to cry

(Feel something Feel nothing
Listen closely Listen closely)
Wide open ears
Disarm the dream tickler
In the constant moment
(You will find me Where it's quiet
Listen closely Listen closely)
Let the blood flow
Through all the spaces
Of the universe

Kidzuite
I'm here waiting for you
Ima to wa chigau mirai ga atte mo
I'm here waiting for you
Sakebi tsudzukete

Kitto kokoro wa,
Tsunagu ito wo tagutteru
Ano koro no watashi,
Me wo samasu you ni
No need to cry

Translation:
Travel to the moon
You're asleep, as you work out your dreams
There's no one here
While the light of the stars toys with me

In order to become strong
I have to remember how to smile
If we're together, I can do it

* Realize that...
I'm here waiting for you
Even if the future is different from now
I'm here waiting for you
I keep on shouting
I'm sure all I have to do
Is pull in the thread that connects our hearts
So the person I was back then
Would open her eyes
No need to cry

Travel in silence
I can reach you if I stretch out my hands
The only memory I have of you
Is so far away

I can hear your voice
If I close my eyes
Even a little pain
Would be nice

Look at me
I'm here waiting for you
Even if you get lost, blown away by the wind
I'm here waiting for you
I look up at the sky
I was protecting my heart
With outstretched hands
Until the person you were back then
Looked back
No need to cry

(Feel something, feel nothing
Listen closely, listen closely)
Wide open ears
Disarm the dream tickler
In the constant moment
(You will find me where it's quiet
Listen closely, listen closely)
Let the blood flow
Through all the spaces
Of the universe

Repeat *

Credits:
www.lyricstime.com/olivia-lufkin-a-little-pain-lyrics.html
http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=3530822107858634874

2008-06-30T20:06:00.000-07:00

I firmly believe its all up to each individual's interpretation.... so figure this out yourself (which incidentally is the name of this card)...

*sigh*

Credits: http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com

2008-06-25T18:49:00.000-07:00

Feeling an extreme lack of inspiration to blog/write/type anything.

Whatever.

2008-06-22T21:35:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to link/blog this but I forgot all about it until I stumbled upon it whilst reading the news online...

It STILL cracks me up everytime!

Thursday June 12, 2008
Suffer the children ... of some

BRAVE NEW WORLD
By AZMI SHAROM

Without exotic foreign holidays, life will no longer be the same.

The sun was setting as the Proton Perdana crunched up the gravel driveway of the bungalow on Jalan Kia Peng. The man sitting in the back seat was oblivious to the gentle glow of dusk that bathed the large well-manicured gardens.

His heart felt heavy and his stomach was knotted.

He was going to break their hearts and there was no way out.

“We are here, sir.”
The voice of the driver shook him out of his deep thoughts. With a barely audible grunt of thanks, he stepped out and with leaden feet walked towards the door.

Before he reached it, the huge oak edifices swung open. A small woman in a blue uniform retrieved his suitcase and collected his shoes as he slipped them off. He hardly noticed her, either.

From within the house, there were sounds of a loud X Box game in progress and young children shouting. The man walked into the living room. Expensive Italian furniture was arranged around a 40-inch plasma TV, its sleek modernity a stark contrast to the gaudiness of the sofas and armchairs.

A boy and a girl were transfixed by the screen, watching monsters get beheaded. A woman lounged in an armchair, her diamonds glittering.

“Listen, everybody, I must speak to you,” said the man.

“Not now, Papa, we are reaching level five,” said the boy.

“No, now,” said the man.

The sombre tone of his voice cut through the shrill screams from the video game. The children and the woman looked to the man, their normal indifference suddenly replaced by unfamiliar concern.

Seating himself, the man leaned on his elbows and stared at the floor.

In a voice quivering with barely suppressed emotion, he started to speak.

“Darling, children, I am afraid we can’t go to Orlando Disneyland this year.”

“Where are we going then?” asked the girl. “England? Europe?”

“We can only go to somewhere in Asean.”

The gasps from the family just about drowned out the crack in his voice as he finished his sentence. Then the barrage of questions started.

Why? What happened? How can this be?

As the voices rose to a crescendo, the man snapped, tears running down his face as he screamed, “The oil price has gone up and we can’t go on holidays around the world any more!”

“But, darling,” said the woman, “I already told the girls I would bring back for them oranges from Florida. How can I face them in Carcosa at our high tea tomorrow?”

“Papa, you promised Disneyland. I hate you! I hate you!” shrieked the boy as he stormed out of the room.

“Wait, boy!” he called out. “You must try to understand. The whole nation is suffering. We must make sacrifices. It is for the good of the country and for the future.”

But it was too late; the boy had already disappeared into his bedroom. Soon, the sound of heavy rap played at full volume could be heard.

“Oh, darling. Think about the children. How are they going to face their friends at the international school? Where are we going to go on holiday?”

The man wiped away his tears of frustration and held his head as he thought of what to say.

Suddenly, he looked up and with a smile bordering on the maniacal, he said: “What about Singapore? Or we can even go local. Let’s go to A Famosa in Malacca. It’s fun, they have a theme park and an animal and cowboy show. Malaysia Truly Asia! Heh heh heh ...”

His laugh petered out as the girl and the woman stared at him icily, slicing through his forced jollity.

For the longest while, nothing was said. Then the rap music abruptly stopped. The three looked up as the boy walked back to them.

“I understand sacrifice, Papa. And I think I have the solution,” he said.

The family stared at him, hope shining in their eyes.

“We can all go to Hong Kong Disneyland!” he exclaimed excitedly.

The man broke down again and buried his face in his hands. Between his gasping sobs, he cried,
“Oh, my son, my poor, poor boy. Don’t you know? Hong Kong is not in Asean.”

“Arrrgghhh!” the boy screamed and ran back to his room, wailing, “I hate you! I hate my life! I want to die!”

The girl, unable to bear the pain any longer, stood up. She loomed over the broken shell that was her father and said, “I know we all have to suffer because of the oil price, Papa. But why do WE have to suffer SO MUCH?” Then she too stalked away.

The man stared into the middle distance.

His pain was almost too much to endure. The only sound in the room was the clinking of his wife’s diamonds as her bosom heaved with racking sobs.

It barely smothered the sound of his shattering heart, for without their exotic foreign holidays, life would never be the same again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ROTFL!!! Ah sarcasm indeed!!

Credits: http://www.thestar.com.my/columnists/story.asp?col=bravenewworld&file=/2008/6/12/columnists/bravenewworld/21522956&sec=Brave%20New%20World

2008-06-18T00:12:00.001-07:00

I know I've blogged about this song way way when I first started this blog. But I can't help but post it again since I've suddenly found the Translation!

::~::Endless Story::~::
Artiste: Yuna Ito as Reira
OST: NANA

Romaji:
If you haven't changed your mind
Soba ni ite hoshii yo tonight
Tsuyogaru koto ni tsukareta no
Osanasugita no
Every time I think about you baby
Ima nara ieru
I miss you
It's so hard to say
I'm sorry

Tatoeba dareka no tame ja naku
Anata no tame ni utaitai kono uta wo
Owaranai story tsuzuku kono kagayaki ni
Always tsutaetai zutto eien ni

Memories of our time together
Kesanaide kono mama don't go away
Atatakaku toke dashite tashikameru no
Yasashisa no shizuku kono mune ni hirogatteku
Setsunai hodo ni I'm missin' you
Kasaneta te hanasanaide

Tatoeba kanau nara mou ichido
Anata no tame ni utaitai kono uta wo
Owaranai story taema nai itoshisa de
Tell me why oshiete yo zutto eien ni

Tatoeba dareka no tame ja naku
Anata no tame ni utaitai kono uta wo
Owaranai story tsuzuku kono kagayaki ni
Always tsutaetai zutto eien ni

Translation:
If you haven't changed your mind
I want you to stay with me tonight
I'm tired of pretending to be strong
I was too young
Every time I think about you baby
Now I can say it, I miss you
It's so hard to say I'm sorry

I want to keep singing this song
For you, not for anyone else
It's an endless story, always shining
Always, I want to tell you, forever

Memories of our time together
Don't erase them, don't go away
Just let them melt warmly, I want to make sure
These drops of tenderness spread out in my heart
I'm missin' you so much it hurts
Our hands overlap, don't let go

If just one wish could be granted
I want to keep singing this song once more
It's an endless story, filled with unceasing love
Tell me why, tell me, forever

I want to keep singing this song
For you, not for anyone else
It's an endless story, always shining
Always, I want to tell you, forever

Credits: http://www.kiwi-musume.com/lyrics/itouyuna/endlesstory.html

2008-06-10T23:57:00.000-07:00

It's strange....

When I was young I had this habit that every kid probably does. I didn't out grow it until I was halfway through primary school. I made myself give it up through a force of will because I wanted something so badly.

I did the same thing with my nail-biting habit. I had a horrible habit of biting my nails until there was barely anything left. I'd even bite til I drew blood but it never bothered me. I'd lick it dry and just nibble once the ache went away...

Almost feels like I deliberately hurt myself....

I told myself I'd never be able to give it up because I was so used to it. To make my fingers stay away from my teeth was like trying to take a fish out of water. But one day, I stopped. Just like that. Because I wanted something so badly and that was the price.

It was hard...very very hard....but I made it.

Now, I've been telling myself and everyone I will never lose weight. That I'll be a hippo forever. But now, I will do it.

Because I want something so badly....

2008-06-06T02:53:00.000-07:00

Bloody OneManga!!!!!

I got stuck to

Ayashi No Ceres!!!! Gah!!

(I liked the 4th cover more so....heh heh heh!!)

In anycase.....IT'S ALL BERNARD'S FAULT FOR POSTING THE LINK ON HIS BLOG!!!!

Credits: http://www.coverbrowser.com/covers/ayashi-no-ceres

2008-06-05T02:45:00.001-07:00

This says it all...

http://www.danielykl.com/blog/2008/06/05/badawi-petrol-up-no-problem-car-pool-lol/

Quite frankly it all smacks of hypocrisy!! Stop telling us what we should do and SHOW US WHAT YOU CAN DO~!!
It's stupid to ask us to tighten our belts and live sparingly when you swan around in big ass cars and over-priced homes!

Oh yes...and the bicycle thing? Quite frankly if we were living in Australia (Brisbane specifically since it's all I know) it wouldn't be a problem. Why? Because over there, there are proper bus/car/bicycle lanes! Everything in it's place and people who respect it! Here, if you tried to cycle to work you'd either die because some blind bugger with a "kopi o" license would knock you down or you'd be poisoned by our "wonderfully fresh" air.

Public transportation? HAH! Perhaps if you'd like to spend a morning stuck in an LRT that has broken down that's fine! Or maybe you'd prefer waiting at a bus stop for an invisible bus? And let's not even go to taxis!

I'm so irate I can't even put my thoughts properly here!

Quite frankly I don't give a shit about political whatevers and whatnots but I do care about the "advice" they are giving us and the excuses!! And it's really mad to keep raising the cost of living when our salary cannot even HANDLE this raise! Hello? Not all of us Malaysians get a five to six digit salary!!

GAH!!!!!

2008-06-04T01:39:00.000-07:00

Just the other day I had a discussion with a friend and I realizied that American films are seriously losing steam.

I mean, just how many lousy adaptations, remakes or sequels (and prequels for that matter) can one do?

In any case, the latest adaptation I happened to chance upon was....wait for it.....

DRAGONBALL....

Yeah.....no shit!!!

As in THAT DragonBall!!! You know...with the Super Saiyas and KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAsss??

And that's not all....Stephen Chow (Mr. Kungfu Hustle) is the producer behind this latest endeavour and it stars Justin Chatwin (who the hell is he?) as Goku.... Emmy Rossum as Bulma and it even has CHOW YUN FAT!!!! Mr Chow....what were you THINKING???? And Emmy as BULMA???

Dear god....Now I can't WAIT to see all the flying and the flashy canonballs and aura/chi stuff. Let's just hope it's not another DOA or Mortal Kombat!! *shudders*

Credit: http://kotaku.com/384543/have-a-look-at-the-dragonball-movie-teaser-poster?cpage=2

2008-06-04T00:36:00.001-07:00

When is enough EVER enough?

Never....that's right.

Credit: http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com

2008-06-01T23:20:00.001-07:00

Was searching for stuff online when I noticed something....apparently the Cempaka Schools put on their version of Wicked, titled "Witched of Oz" about this time LAST YEAR.

I went and did some searching and found this... THIS is what one gets when we have a good team and good management!!! Whyla couldn't we have this much fun during My Fair Lady??
*sighs*

2008-05-29T20:47:00.000-07:00

For some strange reason these few days I'm suddenly very into Disney....and by that I mean Disney music.

Downloaded a few tracks off Limewire from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Somehow all the deep choruses and Hellfire and damnation sorta appeal to me. I've just realized that Hunchback boasts some of the most spectacular tunes of Disney and they somehow give me the chills everytime I hear them.

Then suddenly I switch the teenybopper music like songs from HSM2 and Miley Cyrus....

What is wrong with me laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa................

2008-05-29T01:24:00.000-07:00

I happened to chance upon a clip of America's Next Top Model Cycle 9's Bianca....

To say that she strongly reminds me of someone I know is not even close....the person in question speaks, acts and thinks and is practically the damned twin of the person I know!!!!

Which says a lot about the person doesn't it cos very VERY few people (if any) like Bianca. *shrugs*

2008-05-28T19:02:00.000-07:00

Ok....shoplot beside my office is renovating and if I heard correctly its gonna be an Internet cafe....

I HATE THE HORRIBLE DEEP POUNDING NOISE THAT KEEPS REVERBERATING THROUGH THE WALLS AND MY HEAD~!!!!!!

GAH~!!!!!!!!!

I have a bad headache.....

2008-05-22T20:26:00.000-07:00

This is a song titled, "Here In My Home" and its a multi-artistes racial unity song & video project produced by Pete Teo and directed by Yasmin Ahmad and Ho Yuhang!!

I dunno bout you guys but there's something nice about seeing these people having fun in what looks like an abandoned warehouse! :)

ENJOY~!!!

2008-05-22T19:27:00.000-07:00

Here it is!!

Marie Digby's official MV for "Say It Again"!!
Simple, sweet, creative and pretty cute I'd say. Lolz!!

And clearly I'm a fan. Now can anyone help me find the Opening sequence to Kopitiam Season One and Two?

2008-05-21T03:31:00.000-07:00

Bloody clever me ter-rip my tiniest toe nail out.

SAKIT SIALL~!!!!!!!!

Before anyone asks how the heck that happened, it's quite simple really...my finger/toe nails all grow upwards so my toe nails grew pretty long. I ter-kicked my table and there goes the nail.

Best thing is, it didn't rip cleanly meaning one part of it is lodged in my baby toe still...and since I don't have the gall to just rip it out I merely plastered over it and pray my nail grows fast so I can cut it off.

Whoever told me before that long nails were prettier/more useful/whatever...I really don't think so!! *pout*